It’s not a game. Life, is a continuation of emotions flowing throughout the clouds above our heads. It seems unreasonable to us from time to time. Yet, we lack to understand the reasoning behind the instants we can’t take back.
Regret drains us to the worst of our pains. It makes us feel incompetent and dries all of our hopes. Fear is always testing our limits. It is always there reminding us that at any given moment it can grasp your happiness and pull it down under. There is no greater pain than regret.
Memories come and go, but the sensatios left hanging are a bittersweet taste that never leave our hearts. Looking down at my watch I see how tim passes me by. There is no way of stoping it or even slowing it down. As we grow old those around us grow older. We might think that with time things will get better. But, do they?
Full of questions and no answers.
There are times when you wish you didn’t remember certain things that come to your mind. Memories tend to be imprudent and lack of good timing. I will never understand how the mind works. How can it be that while busy doing anything my mind wonders of into history and starts to recollect crap out of my head. It takes me back in time were I didn’t know any better than now. I can revive emotions, thoughts, and even old conversations. Sometimes I even remember stuff I didn’t know I remembered. Although weird, it’s pretty neat. Memories are kept alive because of past desires. They are well kept in the back part of my files.
I remember the first time I kissed a boy. I think I was in 7th grade at the time. It was after school. I recall wearing my uniform and so did he. We didn’t go to the same school. I had a friend who studied at his same high school. So she and other matters was my excuse to go over were they were. We lived a couple of blocks away from the area so it wasn’t a problem the walking distance. I remember I had just bought a hot dog from the corner around the street. I had just taken a bite when my crush at the moment started to walk away. My friend yelled: “Come back!” So as soon as he did a pivot and turned around I was about to swallow a bite of the hot dog.
I didn’t want to let the moment pass me by, so I went ahead and followed his lead. I guess he didn’t notice but I still hadn’t finished swallowing. It happened faster than the bus that went right by us. It was just like the movies, completely awkward. It was full of genuine emotions and innocence. The wind blew on my uniform but no big deal. I had underpants so it wasn’t so bad. It all happened in a matter of seconds. As soon as it ended each of us walked away as if nothing had happened. My friend and I began to laugh about what had just happened. I couldn’t stop smiling and I will never forget that inner joy of “I did it”.
I recall a lot of things I wish I didn’t remember, yet there are other memories I wish I remembered but I don’t.