Frozen heart 

Is it everything you ever dreamed of? Are you happy? When you smile, do you do it because you feel like smiling or because of commitment? When you say ” I love you” do you mean it? Am I enough? 

All kinds of questions and concerns cloud a vague memory of what we used to be. Your constant name calling and repetitive attitude becomes monotonous in a black and white life style. There’s never enough to trying. There’s always more you can do. There’s always more I can do. There’s always more we can do. However, we stay put in a comfort zone that gets us nowhere. We go around in circles always reaching the starting point. 

I always think… “I will think positively” it seems merely imposible to keep my thoughts higher than my emotions. I find myself overdosed of deception. I try to explain but it’s never clear enough for you to understand. Trying to please you has been the undoing of myself. I lost myself in you and I can’t find me in there. 

Runing on a schedule has been by far my funeral. Alive and yet so dead inside. It doesn’t even kill me every time you ask “what’s wrong”.  I can’t pretend to smile when the fakers smile won’t come close. I never thought it would reach this point. 

We became overwhelmed with a great opportunity called “Us”. Once we achieved “Us” it all became so gray. Arguments, disagreements, disrespectful attitudes and never ending complains. Two strangers bought a future they thought they drew. The expectations of what was suppose to happen killed the theory. 

… and know, it’s not the same. 

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