Is it everything you ever dreamed of? Are you happy? When you smile, do you do it because you feel like smiling or because of commitment? When you say ” I love you” do you mean it? Am I enough?
All kinds of questions and concerns cloud a vague memory of what we used to be. Your constant name calling and repetitive attitude becomes monotonous in a black and white life style. There’s never enough to trying. There’s always more you can do. There’s always more I can do. There’s always more we can do. However, we stay put in a comfort zone that gets us nowhere. We go around in circles always reaching the starting point.
I always think… “I will think positively” it seems merely imposible to keep my thoughts higher than my emotions. I find myself overdosed of deception. I try to explain but it’s never clear enough for you to understand. Trying to please you has been the undoing of myself. I lost myself in you and I can’t find me in there.
Runing on a schedule has been by far my funeral. Alive and yet so dead inside. It doesn’t even kill me every time you ask “what’s wrong”. I can’t pretend to smile when the fakers smile won’t come close. I never thought it would reach this point.
We became overwhelmed with a great opportunity called “Us”. Once we achieved “Us” it all became so gray. Arguments, disagreements, disrespectful attitudes and never ending complains. Two strangers bought a future they thought they drew. The expectations of what was suppose to happen killed the theory.