Simply random

I haven’t written in a while. Then again I haven’t had much to write about. Lately I’ve been sleeping a little too much. My mother says I might be depressed though I doubt that’s the reason. I’m just waiting. I don’t understand quite well what I wait for. All I know is I’m waiting. At times I begin to write and find myself asleep within half an hour. I say I’ll finish tomorrow but the truth is I don’t. Rarely you can pick up were you left. The thread isn’t that long. I used to love being on my own. I loved silence and how it sounded from my ears. I hated having people over. As soon as they walked in I already wanted them out. I never understood why. Sometimes I wait the whole day to go out. When the moment comes, I choose to stay in. There’s obviously nothing wrong with staying home. It’s just unusual that I lack the will to leave the house. The matter of fact is I hate getting ready to go out. Usually woman love this part. They prepare themselves for hours. I guess I would take that long too if I had their issues. There’s something called a “writers block”. The block doesn’t necessarily apply just to writers. Artist, songwriters, directors, you name it. Everyone goes through a blockade from time to time. I’ve been giving myself the opportunity to expose myself. I’ve put myself out there for others to see. This hasn’t been very successful. All I’ve learned from this experience is that there is nothing out there for me right now. I’m not ready to meet anyone at the present time. I guess my awesome relationships have led me to this point. Love doesn’t pay the bill. So I began to exclude all sorts of relations out of my daily routine. People will always ask what you’ve been up to. It is your chance to talk the talk and show what you’ve been about. Put your words to work and let them speak for you. When you’re getting to know someone you recently met is a bit awkward. The questions, the answers, and the gestures are all taken into consideration. We tend to analyze everything and everyone. Everything matters. We check up on every detail. Height, smile, sense of fashion, punctuality, state of mind and most importantly their happiness and sorrows. We rarely ask what makes us sad. Usually the question would be: “What do you do for fun”? The thirst for approach shouldn’t be so obvious. Once this thirst is noticed everything goes down hill from here. You start to care less what the other is saying. You loose respect for the whole situation. It’s their desperation not yours. All we do is take deep breaths and smile. Hopefully it will be over soon. Words are dangerous. You have the power to hurt someone for life just with words. They are as powerful as weapons and illnesses. I should stop writing for I am leaving the topic. As a matter of fact there is no topic. I just free write from time to time. It’s called freedom of speech. I decided to not care for anyone’s opinion but mine.


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