Failed

Failed, Denied, Wrong, Unaccepted and many more terms are the ones I’m most familiar with. These have been my soul mates throughout time. “When one door closes, it’s because another has opened”. So they say. But In my case it is different. Since before birth life had another plan for me.
I was born with “Gastroschisis”, it’s a medical condition were your organs are conceived outside the stomach. My father was playing golf at the moment so he missed it. As soon as I was born I was taken into the operation room. Every normal kid would of have been placed in their mothers arms, but that was not my case. I guess I’ve always taken an alternative road to go were I have to be.
Baby years are the most crucial part of a child’s life. It is the most vulnerable point of a human being. After years of surgeries, tube feeding, and different injections, i went home. Most babies leave the hospital after two days. They are taken care of and nurtured by their family members and friends. I was different.
My baby years were at a hospital. Instead of being breast-fed, I was tube fed. Instead of sleeping with my mommy, I slept alone in an enclosed crystal clear crib. You even had to put your hands through plastic holes to touch me. Maybe that was a signal. Perhaps I’m untouchable and that’s why I’ve been alone all this time. When I finally got home after years of neonatal operations, life had just become harder.
Complications jumping up and down, stomachaches, special dieting, and lack of compassion were my “welcome to this world.” My brothers didn’t like me much. They were somewhat either discussed or annoyed by my presence. I was an unwanted, unplanned, unprepared baby. Perhaps, saying that I was a mistake is too brutal. But, I actually was a big mistake. Some people just weren’t meant to be born and I was one of them.

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